Published: 1948
Have you been a nervous wreck all your life? Do small little things worry you no ends? Do you take things too seriously and never find yourself able to relax or chill? As soon as one of your tasks get accomplished, does your mind – out of nowhere – find another responsibility to fulfill rather than cherishing or celebrating the accomplishment?
Well, I was all of this, and much more. It was instilled in my nature to get worried. “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living” was no less but a Godsend for me. Why else would I have out-of-the-blue logged in to amazon and start browsing their kindle section? And why, out of no where, did this splendid read from Dale Carnegie show up staring into my face, when I had not at all searched for a book on worry? This was being offered for Prime Reading, and with nothing to loose and everything to gain, I started reading it. And did it change my life? Oh boy!
I feel the general perception towards self-help books, and justifiably so, is that they rarely work and are just a money churning mechanism capitalizing on the audience which is desperate to find some remedy for their troubles or shortcomings. But this is a first hand experience, and I vehemently can vouch for it’s genuineness, this book actually works and should not be missed by anyone wanting to overcome the worry habit.
Let us see what works for this book. To start with, this book offers remedies in the form of simple “working formulae” so to say. The best example probably is – when faced with a worry situation, first accept the worst that can happen. Second, think with a cool mind how you improve upon this situation. And third, start acting upon the solution. Carnegie presents advise in “point forms” that are very easy to memorize and remember. Each section is very systematically segregated into chapters that once in your mind will guide you endlessly.
The second good thing is that with each solution that Dale Carnegie is presenting, he supports it with multiple real life examples, with real people and real names, where they have benefited with that approach. This makes the book very very authentic and believable and you quite naturally feel – if it worked for them, it will work for me!
The other thing I feel is the simplicity and “doability”. What Carnegie is asking you to do is nothing extraordinary or something that would require huge amounts of time or dedicated effort. Most of these things are simple alterations in the way you think or perceive things or simple mental attitude. Simple things that we all can easily incorporate into our daily routines and actions.
All said and done, for the book to be effective one must know how to use it. A simple skimming through the book or just one read is NOT what you do with this book and certainly won’t be of any use. YOU SHOULD NOT BE IN A HURRY TO FIND A QUICK SOLUTION. If you genuinely wish to help yourself, take small bits of the book and work with them. Soon you will start to experience their positive impact in the way you feel and it will slowly become a way of life.
How I used this book: In the first reading of any chapter, I would highlight the points that made sense to me and which I thought I need to remember (and I can tell you there are lots!). Once finished with a chapter, I would go over those highlighted lines again and again over the next few days, side by side also continuing ahead in the book – time allowing. It took a good month and a half for me to complete just one read of the whole book. And that’s not the end of it. Thereafter, I used to start my days by reading any random portion of the book – be it even for just 15 minutes. Morning time was where I used to find myself most vulnerable & jittery. And starting my day with such positive & inspiring thoughts would for one, block away any harmful thoughts that my mind would think, and two, it set the right tone for the day ahead with a light hearted, positive and bright outlook. It wouldn’t be an over-statement to say the book became a Bible of sorts for me.
Soon I started feeling the effect of the book, and that only acted to further cement my faith in it’s effectiveness and genuinity. I felt myself wanting to cling on to that support this book would provide to me. It is only now, after a good 7-8 months of my reading this book that I feel self assured and secure enough to stand by myself, not requiring the daily read – maybe also because now all of it is there in my memory. But every now-n-then I do give it a quick read and it just has you marvel at the sheer brilliance of Dale Carnegie.
How this book helped me: the habit of worry coupled with some personal loss had started to take it’s toll on me & my health. I even started to believe that it was ok to be sad. This book showed me it was NOT! I started to live in water tight compartments, I started to think happy thoughts, I started to follow my passions – to list a few changes I brought about in myself. Believe it or not, I started to see those issues disappear. I found myself in a much better state than I was before.
I recall, we (one of my family) were faced with a sudden health scare and I really got so damn worried I almost wanted to weep. I picked up this book on my kindle and started reading the chapter on faith. Instantly I started feeling so extremely calm and collected. It speaks of the little bird who doesn’t collect it’s food in any barns, nor worries about it. But God takes care of the little creature and feeds it each day. So won’t God take care of me? It reminded me that we are supposed to take all our worries to God in prayer and not try to fight them alone. I did just that. And probably you wont believe me, the next day – a solution strung up from the least expected place and in a way that couldn’t have been any better. God was listening!
To sum it up, at times people end up doing work that lives for times immemorial – long after they have gone. Published in 1948, this book continues to help & improve lives of so many like myself. I wish I could somehow thank the author for his impeccable effort. I forgot to mention, the book is laced with beautiful quotes & prayers. When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade. Sounds familiar? Obviously I haven’t gone about looking for it’s provenance, but if this quote is famous, it could safely be attributed to Dale Carnegie. I shall end with one of the most beautiful ones I found:
God grant me the serenity –
To accept things I cannot change,
The courage to change things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Before ending, another book that can help you improve your living – The Midnight Library (Matt Haig)
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